(home)coming

while i was i manila, a friend from singapore asked how my homecoming had been like. i guess my friend considered my trip as some sort of a homecoming since my parents and majority of my relatives reside there. however, living a transient life has deprived me of rooting myself in a specific place which i can truly call home. i know that that manila, orange county and new york city will always have a special place in my heart, with most of my past memories scattered in these three places. but how am i supposed to consider these places as my 'hometowns' when alienation has recently become my companion in these places?

***

my vacation in manila was mostly spent at our new house, catching up with my family and some friends. i guess i also didn't have that much of an option since i had to work from home in second week. thus, i decided to just hangout with my family and a number of friends living nearby. the only time i got the chance to go out of the city was when some of my friends decided to drag me out of the house and brought me to a not-so-far touristy place for a weekend trip. the travel was pretty much smooth and we arrived to our destination just after an hour and a half drive.  upon our arrival, i noticed that the place hasn't changed that much. well, I spotted several new establishments, but the tourist city still looked the same way i remembered it--full of restaurants, cafes and different types of resort-type lodging places. basically, we just had our lunch and massage in the city, and that's it.

***

i felt that my trip to manila made me realise that my family will always be there for me, despite our occasional misunderstandings. i know that my parents and i have been in a love-hate relationship ever since i was a kid, but i guess seeing them again allowed me to remember how close we really are as a family.

a note to myself

"Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head, and remind yourself of who you are and where you wanna be. And sometimes you have to venture outside your world in order to find yourself." And as for me, I'm taking a break from all of this grinding and just continue clinging to the forlorn hope that I will eventually let go of all my demons.

we might as well be strangers in another town

while running away from you is such a cowardly act from my end, i am afraid that you actually didn't leave me any option but to just forget about you. how am i supposed to continue playing this waiting game, when i know for a fact that you'll never love me the way i've fallen for you? as such, instead of waiting for you to change your mind, i've decided to give myself a HUGE favor by moving on.

i know you still want to keep in touch in the near future, and i am glad to hear about your good intention. however, i prefer that we go back to being strangers if seeing you again would only remind me of another missed opportunity.

xoxo

love is a losing game

wake up and smell the coffee

over the love

I needed the shame, I needed the pain. I need to feel nothing for you

remembering...

last week, two major natural disasters hit the asian region which claimed the lives of thousands of people and destroyed infrastructure and private properties worth billions of dollars.

i hope people would get the chance to remember the people, memories, and even dreams that were lost in these two tragic incidents and to give a hand--in whatever possible way we can--to those who are now grieving and are searching for the justification on why such tragedies had to take place right before our very eyes.