(up)rooting

i have had several departures and returns in the past few years; each one reminding me of how transient my life. such living arrangement has always been a part of me, and i thought i've already accepted it.

my parents brought me up in an environment where my world is not fixed in one location. they shipped me back and forth in the cusp of two cities; and when they realized it's not enough, they decided to add another on my list of 'hometowns'. they also supported the idea of greater mobility on my part when i decided to pursue a career in the academe, where i'll be forced to wander in different places until the end of my chosen path.

such set-up had been greeted with a welcoming thought until my recent visit to manila. i think seeing my family and friends, and hearing their stories made me rethink of whatever feeling i've had about this transient life. listening to their stories reminded me of how i'm missing out on a lot of things. i have been stripped off the privilege to be with my family, to form a long, deep, and meaningful relationship with my friends, and even to settle down with someone.

moreover, my fragmented self was suddenly highlighted and its ironies further amplified in my trip. i can no longer shift from one part of myself to another in an instant. in fact,  the high-glamour and comfortable lifestyle in manila (and even in the states) are still in me as i am writing this entry in singapore.

obviously, i am once again ranting about the life i've chosen (or was imposed on me). okay, enough... back to my review.