stubborn me

i guess i'm truly a stubborn person after all. those who know have all told me to forget about you, with some even advising me to just move on. it's actually funny how they all see you as the villain in this story; that you're the manipulative, insensitive guy who has been toying with my emotions. however, despite all of this reminder, i always end up longing for you--asking you to meet me again. 

listening to you a while ago made me realise that you're still trying to pick yourself up from a failed relationship. i  knew all along that you still want to be with your ex, and i thought it's completely normal. after all, i was also like that after i broke up with p, fooling around with different guys just to help me get through the night knowing that i was no longer with the guy i loved for nearly a year. however, seeing your frustration over how you can't be with your ex right now made me realise that no one can ever take his place in your broken heart. 

secretly, i was wishing that you'd tell me, as we're both standing outside the mall where we first met, that i might be the person who'll be able to fix you. what i received, unfortunately, was a clear sign that i am just chasing pavements; that you can never extend to me the same affection and love you showed to your ex. i wanted to cry and plead my case to you a while ago, hoping that you'll reconsider taking my heart. by the looks of it, however, i'll just forever be a friend to you--someone whom you can always depend on whenever things become unbearable.

i know my friends are right and i should just move on for my own sake. however, i have decided to stick around and offer you unconditional love as long as i can. i guess i'd rather feel the pain of not having you than to walk away from the person whom i believe is the "one" for me. yes, it does sound trite and borderline maudlin, but this is just me being unreasonably stubborn.